A TMOD theme titled “The art of letting go”

THE ART OF LETTING GO

I had a friend whom I absolutely adored. We were in school together but stayed in touch even post our education. When I was getting married, she was one of the first persons whom I called. I really wanted her to be there. She initially agreed but later had to cancel her plans due to some unforeseen emergencies. I was sad but tried to empathize with her. She did make it a point to order me a gift off Amazon.

About two years later, she was getting married but not once did she call me. When I texted her to know how things were going, she would ask me to come but never really bothered to call or even text on her own. Needless to say I felt unwelcome and decided to skip the wedding. To be fair, I ordered her a gift off Amazon too. The irony was a week later she asked me why I did not come to the wedding, on a text message again.

Do you have a friend who let you down? Or perhaps a coworker who turned his back against you in crucial times. Or may be a cousin with whom you relish some great moments but has just been a jerk lately.

I am sure we all have at least one such person in our lives. I have developed a coping mechanism to deal with such people. I call it the silent treatment. I don’t call or message them but every once in a while when they call or message me, I give them the most indifferent treatment, as if they are mere acquaintances. My friend sent me a couple of messages on WhatsApp pretending things are normal but I chose not to respond

Over the course of today’s meeting I will share with you some more ways to pull yourself out of such a situation. But for now, let me tell you how a Toastmaster’s meeting functions. Every Toastmasters meeting is divided into three parts. The first part is the Prepared Speech section where our members prepare a 5 to 7 minute speech in advance, get it mentored and deliver the same. The second part is the fun and exciting Table Topic Session where anyone can speak for 1 to 2 minutes on a topic given by our Table Topic Master. And the last part is the evaluation session where our General Evaluator will give a comprehensive report on the entire meeting. Let me invite our General Evaluator for the day TM Name.

Once the GE is done explaining his role, invite the Prepared Speakers. After this session, continue with the theme as under.

Taking a cue from my approach, one excellent way to deal with such a person is to maintain a physical distance from them. Letting go becomes a tough task if you run into the person every now and then. It is therefore best to maintain a physical distance. However, what if the person happens to be a coworker or a cousin living 2 blocks away? If you are in a situation where absolute physical distance is not a possibility, make a point to surround yourself with other better people. If it’s your workplace, find other coworkers with positive attitude. If it’s your family, interact with other members to fill up your time and keep the person at bay.

But let me warn you, this trick will not save you from our next session – impromptu speaking. Please help me welcome our Table Topic Master for the day TM Name.

Once the Table Topic Session is over, continue with the theme as under.

Sometimes people eventually realize their error and take initiative to right a wrong. However, there are times when you have to accept that getting an apology from the other person is out of question given their personality. In such circumstances, it is important to forgive them nevertheless rather than letting them occupy a rent free place in your head forever. For the sake of your sanity, sometimes the only option is to forgive them but make sure you don’t forget the experience or your risk a déjà vu.

There may be rare circumstance when the person involved is someone extremely close like a spouse of a parent. None of us is perfect but some of us are more imperfect than others. And if you happen to be in such a situation, the only solution may be seeking professional help. An unknown councilor may help you the finding the way out from the sorrows inflicted by a known person.

Let us now move to the final session of today’s meeting the evaluation session. Please help me welcome the General Evaluator for the day TM Name.

Once the evaluation session is over conclude the theme as under.

Fellow Toastmasters, everything I mentioned today applies if you are the wounded person. However, as I said none of us is perfect. To some people in your life, you may be the person they are trying to let go of. You may be the reason for someone’s wound. If you find this relatable, do reach out to the person and make up for your misdeeds. We have very few people in our inner circle and they are precious. If there is someone who can be back in your inner circle by admitting to a mistake, have no second thoughts about it.

It’s time now for the awards.